On Monday, the 29th, I went in for my pre-assessment surgery stuff at the hospital. I went by myself feeling confident that there was no reason for anyone to go with me and knowing that Clint had to work. I was not really clear about where I was to go so I went to my surgeon's office and asked. I also had some questions that I wanted answered prior to surgery and was unsure if Dr. Chow would see me before it took place. They pointed me in the right direction and said that the nurses in pre-assessment would be able to answer most of my questions. I informed her that I would be happy to ask them but if they could not answer them I would be back. I also popped into the diagnostic center next door and asked for a copy of my pathology reports. They handed them right over, no problems, no questions. For the first time I read the full report from my stereotactic biopsy and felt frustrated, enlightened, and angry.
The hospital was where the pre-assessment stuff happened so I walked across the street and found my way to what looked like an information desk. Sitting at the desk was an older man(70's) who asked how he could help me. I replied by telling him that I was there for my pre-assessment work up for a surgery that would take place the next day. He acted like he was the man to help me. He picked up a clip board and reviewed a list of names on it and could not seem to find mine. He then said, "Are you having "female" surgery?" His own embarrassment made me smile and I said, "I am having surgery on my breast." He informed me that I was at the wrong information desk and sent me down the corridor. The individuals checking me in there took my name and gave me a buzzer(like you get at a restaurant) and gave me some info to fill out. Keep in mind, that I had to drive so I could not take any pain medication and I was nervous that even Tylenol might somehow mask something that might blood work might reveal if it was not in my system. So, needless to say I was in a LOT of pain. The hospital attendants told me to wait in the waiting room at the end of the hall until my buzzer went off. I have spent many, many, many, hours in hospital waiting rooms and I think I was expecting something a little smaller. There were about 50 people in a very large waiting room. That on it's own bothered me. Half of them were there for pre-assessment for surgery and the other half were for the transplant clinic that was adjacent to the waiting room. Again, not one individual was my age or close to it. Almost everyone was older and with an adult child helping them. A few were older and there with a spouse. The transplant people were all very ill looking. Either, very thin, or very heavy. They were also all very chatty. They were waiting their turn for dialysis and swapping medical side effect stories. I could not handle the idea that I was in this room. This room is for old people, sick people, people who have not taken good care of themselves! I don't want to be here! I don't belong here!!!!! I then remembered my ear buds. Thank goodness!! I put them in before anyone tried to talk to me and tried to deep breathe through the physical and emotional pain. After an hour they called me back and got the insurance info and emergency contact stuff out of the way, then they led me on to the day surgery center where they would ask me more questions, get vitals, and draw blood.
The nurse in pre-assessment was nice and considerate of my pain. She even made a note for nothing to be done to my left arm when I came for surgery. She said that in the 20 years she had been an RN, I was the first patient in for a breast biopsy suspicious of cancer to ever complain of pain. I thought that was a good sign. She was curious about my diagnostic journey thus far so I let her read my pathology report. She read it slowly and then declared, "I think they don't know what is wrong with you!" This also made me smile. That's exactly right, and that is why they are going exploring in my breast with a scalpel tomorrow!
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