My First Mammogram

Three weeks later I was having my very first mammogram.  It was a diagnostic mammogram and having never done this before did not know what to expect.  The little wrap around shirts were interesting. I found it cliche that they were pink but they served their purpose.  I waited for my name to be called and went in.  The room was fairly dark but I remember thinking how glad I was to not be particularly modest.  I removed my pink wrap shirt and began the medical mammo version of twister.  I kept imagining a 76 year old woman weighing 250lbs being asked to bend and twist while holding her own breast and breath as well.  That scenario seems impossible and  I was thankful for my various years doing yoga.  The tech emailed the images to the radiologist while I waited in the little interior lobby again.  Carrying my clothes and jewelry around in a plastic bag, wearing my little wrap shirt, it all felt odd.  I looked around the room and I was the youngest there, then again I had done that earlier when I first signed in and noticed the same thing.  I felt the other women there were all looking at me strangely wondering what someone so young and healthy looking was doing there.  The tech came back out and called my name again.  So I picked up my plastic bag and my purse and marched myself and my pink wrap shirt back into the mammo room.  She said we needed to take some more pictures and began describing the various poses I would be getting into.  There was an LCD flat screen TV on the wall to the right of me showing my breast image.  I had noticed it before wondering what was what exactly on the image.  This time I saw a small circle in one area of my left breast on the image.  It was a computer generated image and it became clear that we were “zooming in” on a certain suspicious spot.  At this point I am topless, with my breast in a vice, body turned one direction, feet turned another, one  arm up above my head resting on the machine, and one hand holding the other breast out of the way.  It was at this point, my chin began to quiver.  My lip and chin do that when I am really emotional and generally about to cry.  I held my breath as instructed and started reciting verses in my head.  “I know the plans I have for you, plans for a hope and a future……, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”, etc.  I also began to think of my Father-in-law who was a huge influence in my life and who battled colon cancer for 5 years.  He went through 3 surgeries and 3 separate rounds of chemo, so he was poked and prodded for a long time.  I thought of him, and how much I loved him and how brave he was through it all.  I determined that this was nothing compared to all he went through and told myself to breathe.  The mammo tech tells me to get my things and wait in the little lobby again.  I walk back to the little room again with my plastic bag of belongings and my purse, this time a little freaked out and feeling very alone.  I waited patiently and the next thing I know a different individual is asking me to follow her telling me that the Radiologist wants to do an ultrasound today.  I get to the room, take off my pink wrap shirt and within moments he is there with the super cold jelly.  He asked me about the discharge quickly dismissing it as a normal hormonal occurrence and stated emphatically not to force fluid to come out ever!  It could cause major problems in the ducts.  I asked about breast pain and again he dismissed this as a normal hormonal occurrence and said 9 out of 10 women complain of breast pain and there is nothing wrong.  He then began to ask about my family history associated with breast/women’s health.  I told him that I had a great aunt that died of breast cancer, a grandmother who died of ovarian cancer, and I have a first degree relative has been growing tumors in her breast since she was a teenager.  I told him that she has had multiple surgeries to either remove or biopsy these masses and they have found some precancerous cells.  I also told him that she was a part of a special program at MD Anderson for the purpose of prevention of breast cancer and that she had been tested for the Breast Cancer gene and was positive.  Well, at this point I think he woke up from his nap.  His eyes bugged out of his head and he said “Do you mean the BRCA gene test?  She is positive?” I told him yes.  He asked if anyone one else in my family had been tested and I said no.  He then decided to go take a closer look at my films.  I found it interesting how “normal” my symptoms were until I mentioned my family member's genetic testing and then all of the sudden he is focused and intense.  He came back in and waved the wand around a lot in one spot, which made me nervous.  But then said to get dressed and come out when I was done.  I thought that meant clothes the assistant informed me that he meant just for me to close up my shirt and come out.  Darn.  I went out and looked at the films with him.  He explained that I had a cluster of micro calcifications in my left breast and because he could not be 100% sure that they were not due to cancer a biopsy would be ordered.  He also said not to fill the birth control script and to make sure no matter what the biopsy said that I start getting mammos regularly and seeing the Breast Surgeon once a year.  So, I  scheduled my stereotactic biopsy for two days later.  It was not the best first experience with the whole  mammogram thing but I guess I am glad I did it.